We’ve all felt it before. And there have been times when we don’t even like to admit that we have experienced it. In all the many forms that it comes in, sometimes violent, sometimes simmering beneath the surface ready to explode. But in one way or another, we all have some sort of reaction to having felt anger once the moment has passed. We can for example hate ourselves for allowing it to take such violent expression, especially if it is against someone we love, like our children. Or perhaps we don’t like the residual feeling, be it regret, remorse, or just that little bit of discomfort gnawing at our insides. You know the feeling.

We usually get angry at someone. We judge that someone has done something wrong, and as a consequence, we want them to be punished.

In truth, the actions of others are never to blame. It’s our thinking – our blaming and judgment – that causes the anger. And we blame and judge because we have a need that has not been met.

So what is this need? I would assert that this need are the needs of the ego. For example, how often have you been angry with kids because they have not done shomething just the way you want it? The ego needs to be right and needs things done its way. And when it does not get its way it reacts. And it reacts through you. Anger is just one of the manifestations of the ego’s reaction.Or perhaps it comes from the ego’s need to feel safe and protected, and when someone says something, the ego takes it as an attack on it. An example would be when we reacted angrily to something someone else said to us. Their words in itself have no inherent power, but our response to it is what gives it power. In this instance we give it power by reacting angrily. The irony of it all is that in responding in this manner, we are giving our personal power away.

The next time you reflect on what makes you angry, try this. Instead of saying, ‘I am angry because they …’ we can say, ‘I am angry because I am needing ….’

You may be surprised at what comes up for you.

People who regularly display signs of road rage, excessive swearing at other people around them or abuse the maids/ spouses all are exhibiting anger. On the other hand, some people when they get angry keep the anger inside them. While they seem outwardly calm, over time this anger builds and builds, and it may take only the slightest incident to cause all the built up anger to erupt.

If you realise that your anger, in whatever way that it expresses itself, is

  • adversely affecting your relationship with the people around you
  • preventing you from being more effective at work
  • affecting you emotionally, mentally and physically

If you feel that this describes you, take immediate action NOW. Call 97597683 for a one – on – one consultation.

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